Courage & Discipline

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It takes such courage and discipline to live true integrity moment to moment. Honesty and openness in the moment is achingly vulnerable. It doesn’t allow for manipulation or control, but it does allow for intimacy, love, and sometimes even magical moments of transformation.

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Mirror, mirror

Thanksgiving 2008. My family went to my sister’s in Boston and I stayed home to work on my grad school and to attend youth ministry events that I had scheduled for around Thanksgiving.

There was no way I was spending the holiday with my still-less-than-5-years divorced parents, 4 siblings, plus a friend or two, all staying in my sister’s home in Boston. That was too many people in a too small space.

But see, I found out from my sister (right after they returned home) that my father had given her a new Nikon digital camera (her birthday is in June) plus a camera bag AND some lenses. I was all sorts of out of joint over that. Didn’t my dad know that I was the photographer? He’d given me an SLR when I was in high school, and I’d been taking pictures for years. How dare my sister encroach on that and get the camera as a gift. Did he think she was more talented? Did he love her more? Why her? All sorts of emotions and questions went through my mind and my heart. I was angry and hurt. So I handled it like any grown adult: I said nothing.

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